Impact Wrestling Results – January 19, 2017
The show opens with a video package looking at Bobby Lashley’s path back to another TNA World Title shot, then we go to the ring for our first match…
Race For The Case: BROKEN Matt Hardy vs Brother Nero vs Eli Drake vs Crazzy Steve vs Trevor Lee vs Mahabali Shera vs Tyrus vs Jessie Godderz vs Bram vs Eddie Kingston vs Andrew Everett vs Mike Bennett
Okay, so this is a little different than the previous Feast or Fired concept: it looks like nobody gets fired this time around, the briefcases are numbered 1 through 4, and it determines the order in which the people who grab the cases are allowed to throw out their dream challenges on Open Fight Night. Everyone starts brawling at the beginning of the match, some people go for the cases and get yanked down, then everyone clears out except for Tyrus and Drake. Tyrus clears a bunch of people out so Drake can climb a pole and grab one of the briefcases. Drake’s outta here, and it looks like Tyrus is going with him. Trevor Lee goes up and grabs another briefcase soon after and then wipes everyone out with a dive on his way to the back. We’re at commercial.
Okay, we’re back and we’ve got two briefcases left to go. Jessie goes for one, Steve drags him down and dumps him to the floor, then lays Matt out before taking Jessie and Kingston out with a dive. Bram and Kingston hit Matt with a spike piledriver, Jessie takes them both out with a springboard double shoulderblock, then gets Kingston in the Adonis Lock while Bennett takes Bram out with a superkick. Jessie goes for a case and grabs it just as Kingston low blows Jessie, and Jessie drops the case right into Bram’s hands, so they get the case and they’re outta here. The Hardys work Jessie over in the ring and Brother Nero goes up to grab the last case.
Winners: Brother Nero, Bram, Trevor Lee & Eli Drake
Eh, it was a battle royal basically. Fine for what it was. Reveal comes later in the show.
Wee see a flashback to Drew Galloway’s debut, saving the Wolves from an attack at the hands of the Beat Down Clan. Galloway returns to the ring tonight against Moose! In fact, he’s backstage and he says there’s been a lot of change while he’s been gone, and most of it good. There’s one problem: the Grand Championship. It’s not Moose, he’s great, but everything that happened since Bound For Glory does’t count because it was designed for him. He beat the World Champion on his way to the finals, but he got hurt, and he wants to make the Grand Championship the #1 title in the world.
Bobby Lashley is backstage, and his match with EC3 worked out pretty well for him. He’s going out to the ring right now, and he has a proposition for Eddie after this commercial.
Bobby Lashley comes out to the ring and says EC3 is out of the picture, so nothing is going to stop him from getting the TNA World Title back: not TNA, not Davey Richards, and now that he did what he had to do, he wants Eddie Edwards to come out and see him right now. Eddie joins the #1 contender in the ring and says he doesn’t know how, why, or if he’s just more punch drunk, but he doesn’t know how Lashley got this mixed up. He doesn’t have to answer to Lashley, he owes Lashley nothing because he beat him for the World Title. Lashley just knows how much the title means to him and knows how he wants to take this title to the top, and he wants to know how Lashley plans to steal the title from him and the Wolves Nation. Lashley says he’s not a fighting champion because a fighting champion doesn’t rely on fluke wins, biased officials, and his partner helping him. When Lashley was the champion, he did it by himself, and the fans just like him because he’s a feel good story. Eddie says the movie is over and that title is his life. Lashley is going to pardon him for stepping in his face, and if Eddie wants to be a fighting champion, and not rely on help from everyone, to give him the title shot he earned, and give it to him in a 30 minute Ironman match. That way, Lashley is going to beat Eddie over and over and over again. Eddie says that if Lashley wants a 30 minute Ironman match, he’s got it, because that gives him 30 more minutes to prove once and for all that Lashley is now, and always will be, known as nothing but Eddie’s bitch. Lashley responds by suckerpunching the champion and beats the crap out of him, then Beells him across the ring and sets for the spear. Davey Ricahrds runs out with a chair and chases Lashley off, then goes to check on Eddie. He picks up the belt and holds onto it half a second too long when Eddie goes to take it back.
Maria is backstage on her cell phone and tells Braxton Sutter she has something very important to talk about when he gets there, and he better call her back when she calls him from now on. Then Maria finds Brooke and gets snippy with her, but Brooke says she knows all about Maria and how she runs her mouth and never backs it up. She warns Maria to stay out of her business and let her do her thing.
Brooke Tessmacher vs Deonna Purrazzo
Purrazzo wrestles circles around Brooke to start us off, then lets Brooke up just to yank her down again by the hair. Brooke responds by driving Purrazzo to the floor, then goes out after her and rams her into the barricade, then the ring apron a couple oftimes, then they head back in where Brooke runs Purrazzo back and forth from corner to corner until Purrazzo just collapses. Brooke rolls Purrazzo into a modified Muta lock, then hits a neckbreaker. Purrazzo catches Brooke with a big running knee to the jaw, unloads on her with right hands, Brooke catches Purrazzo with a series of running clotheslines, a uranage backbreaker, and a flapjack. Brooke finishes Purrazzo with a facebuster for the win.
Winner: Brooke Tessmacher
Great match to come back to, and I like that Purrazzo got that much in. Sienna runs in and tries to attack Brooke, Brooke sees her coming and catches her coming in, but Sienna’s too strong, picks her up by the neck and drops her on the mat, then lays her out with the Silencer. Sienna crouches over Brooke and tells her that Maria says welcome back.
We go to the set of Fact of Life, and Tyrus lets us know that the show is up next with the suitcase reveal.
Maria finds Braxton Sutter backstage and tells him that Allie works for her and she wants Sutter to stop training allie because it’s ruining her life. Sutter says he’s a grown ass man and won’t let her boss him around. Maria says she might have something to change his mind, and whispers something in Sutter’s ear as he looks surprised. Maria asks him if she made herself clear, and Sutter says crystal clear. Maria says to find Laurel and not to keep her waiting.
Tyrus welcomes all the ladies and gentlemen (and Jeff Hardy), and then introduces a proud Republican, not a dummy, and cooler than the other side of the pillow, then says that this is the reveal of the cases. People get to call their opponent and the stipulation, and nobody who comes later in line can cash in on someone who was already cashed in on. Drake opens at #4, and Drake looks pretty unhappy about that. Tyrus tells him it’s fine and puts the case behind the desk, then moves on to the DCC. The DCC does a mime routine before passing the case up and revealing…#2. Gee, #1 is the last one being drawn, what a shock. Trevor Lee says he might take Drake’s idea for the no DQ title shot, so Tyrus tells him to hurry up and open the case. Lee tries to unlock it, and Tyrus says it’s already unlocked, so Lee puts it on the desk and it’s…#3. That means Brother Nero has #1, and he says whoever he chooses to face will fade away and classify themselves as onsolete…OBSOLETE! Drake is pissed, so Tyrus informs us that this has been Fact of Life, and that’s it for the show.
We look back to Drew Galloway cashing in his Feast or Fired title shot to defeat Matt Hardy for the TNA World Title. He’ll challenge Moose for the Grand Championship in our main event!
Braxton finds Allie backstage and dumps her. She’s so distraught that he heaps more on the pile by telling her that he won’t train her anymore either. He walks off and leaves her having a breakdown by herself.
Rockstar Spud introduces Aron Rex, who comes out in his naked tights. Robbie E comes out with new theme music and butch tights and says this is still a thing with Rex wearing women’s lipstick. Robbie says it’s all good because he has Rex’s number, and he brings out someone who’ll have Spud’s number: Swoggle.
Aron Rex & Rockstar Spud vs Robbie E & Swoggle
Spud suckerpunches Swoggle, then unloads with punches and stomps. Rex grabs a mic and tags himself in, and says it’s time to give everyone what they came to see. Swoggle grabs Rex’s ankle, so Rex says Swoggle is touching him, and Spud tags back in and attacks Swoggle. Swoggle hauls Spud up and hits Go 2 Sleep (yes, really), then makes a hot tag to Robbie, who comes in and cleans house. He hits a Thesz Press on Rex, then a second rope elbowsmash. Robbie flapjacks Spud on top of Robbie, then Swoggle gives Spud a stinkface. Spud knocks Swoggle out with a gimmick and then brawls to the outside with Robbie as Rex covers Swoggle for the win.
Winners: Aron Rex & Rockstar Spud
Aron Rex is a good example of why some people shouldn’t have too much input into their own gimmick.
We see Drew Galloway’s heel turn after losing to Ethan Carter III in the lead-up to Bound For Glory, and then Moose’s victory over Aron Rex for the Grand Championship. They’re both backstage, they’re both…WALKING, and they’ll face off for the Grand Championship tonight!
We see a video package hyping next week’s big Monster’s Ball match for the Knockouts Title between Rosemary and Jade, and Eddie Edwards vs Bobby Lashley in a 30 minute Ironman match for the TNA World Title will also be on next week’s show!
Braxton Sutter is in the garage walking Laurel Von Ness to his car. She thanks him for the ride and makes him hold the door for her before he gets in and pulls away.
We see a video package hyping the Grand Championship match, which happens…NOW!
Grand Championship Match: Moose vs Drew Galloway
The bell rings, and we’re off with Round 1. They match power with shoulderblocks, they trade chops, neither man gets an advantage, and Moose drills Galloway in the face with a dropkick. Galloway gets a boot to Moose’s face, ducks a clothesline, goes for a crossbody, and Moose catches him and hits a fallaway slam. Galloway dodges a corner charge and hits a short piledriver for 2. Drew calls Moose a son of a bitch and slaps him in the face, and they trade shots as the clock winds down to end the round. Borash announces that Drew Galloway wins the first round, and the second round is up after the commercial.
We’re back, and round 2 goes to the floor almost immediately. They trade shots, Drew tries a charge and runs right into a bicycle kick from Moose. Galloway nails Moose back and gives him an AA onto the ring apron. Moose isn’t amused, and powerbombs Drew on the apron in retaliation. Moose collapses after delivering the move, and both men are down on the floor. They both barely beat the count with about a minute and a half left, and Moose hits a pop-up powerbomb, senton, but misses the Lionsault. Drew gets the Iron Maiden with 45 seconds left, and Moose is fighting to hang on…he gets to his feet, but Galloway takes him back down and Moose avoids tapping until the bell rings.
Borash announces that the judges called the second round for Moose. I don’t know where they got that, and even the announcers agree with me. They trade blows in the middle of the ring, Drew blocks the Game Changer, Moose hits a big boot, Galloway responds with one of his own, Drew comes off the top and flies right into a dropkick from Moose. Galloway blocks another Game Changer, mule kicks Moose in the ding ding, and Moose goes down. The ref stops the clock to check on Moose and deducts a point from Galloway. Moose makes it to his feet, the ref restarts the match, and Galloway immediately hits the Claymore for the win.
Winner and NEW Grand Champion: Drew Galloway
Drew makes good on his promise and wins HIS title on the first attempt.
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